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Caught between a rock and a hard place…

Of course there are a few reasons for my lack of blogging. No time. Nothing much is up. No inspiration. So on and so forth. It applies to my Instagram and Twitter posts as well. I have to admit though, the main concern for me is the fear and respect for my children.

I chose to write, photograph and post about my life but my children didn’t. Or at least, have not decided for themselves yet whether they would like to or not. Then there is this online paedophile concern that lurks in the corners every time I think I want to post a picture. I don’t want anyone to be using my child’s photo for anything. Not even a meme. But once it is out in the world wide Web it remains there forever. Even with all the security measure we put in, it can still get out. After all, we are all only connected. Just 6 degrees of separation separates us all.

Which means the moment I share a photo in Facebook even with friends only setting, it can and will be shared with others if anyone of my friends liked the picture or commented on it. It pops up on their friends’ feed telling them that their friend has just liked a photo. All this ease has put a stone in my shoe, so to speak, making me uncomfortable. Makes me think twice before posting.

Then, comes the part that maybe my children won’t like their antics to be splayed out for all to see. Especially when they hit their teens. By then, it is too late to say sorry or to retract. What is done is done. It cannot be undone.

Now cones the crux of it all. Since becoming a mother my life revolves around them. Almost every picture and thought I have, have them in it. Scroll through my phone and all I see are my two angels looking back at me. Then when I am with them, I don’t have time for anything else. My hands are full. Even if I take a photo of something else, I have no time to organise my thoughts and make a blog post even if that what the intention when I took that photo.

Or maybe I am just lazy. I still work and am lucky that my time is flexible. Household chores are done to the minimum. I get a lady in to do the heavy duty cleaning. Maintenance is key. Whatever time I have to myself now is late at night, which usually doesn’t happen as by the time I put them to bed, I would have fallen asleep too. Or the time I have the babysitter who is an angel with Z and now I have to get J used to her for an hour or so, so that I can get some gym time in, is my only “me” time. J like Z before her is with me 24/7. There is always tons of laundry to get through. So many older clothes that don’t fit “growing like weeds kids” have to be routinely sorted and stored or given away. That in itself is a chore! Then I have a threenager now who will wear only what she wants regardless of the weather outside. I think she is made for warmer weather. We are living in the wrong country! šŸ˜“šŸ˜ Just the other day, to counter this I thought it was wise to start her early on her choice of clothing for the day. We took 5 hours to end up not looking like a hobo and be adequately dressed for cold rainy spring evening. Don’t forget loads of screaming and tantrums and threats of “if you don’t get dressed, we are leaving without you!”. I just don’t have the energy after everything. Then I just procrastinate. 

I would love to blog more. I just have to find my balance which I have yet to find. Maybe until then you will hear from me sparodically. Unless I have something else to write about that doesn’t involve my children. 

On another note, it is still surreal that I am now a mother of two! Surreal even after 3 years….

Good night! 

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Life in Photos – day 44

Siloso beach at Sentosa in Singapore. This was taken from the bar area of Ola. Ola just opened the week before and I saw it on Instagram. Decided to bring the family there for a day on the beach. It was beautiful. Gorgeous place though the menu is not extensive but whatever we ordered, and we ordered a lot, it was good. I especially liked their tea. I can’t remember the name of it but it was so good I, alone ordered it 3 times.

I have not been back to Siloso beach for years and now it is unrecognisable. The whole island is unrecognisable. Not too sure if it is for the better or not. Singapore does know how to keep the greenery and not totally destroy its natural beauty while at the same time it created jobs and brought in tourist which is always good for the country’s economy. 

All in all, it was a good day. Z got sunburnt on her face even with 50 protection on. Delicate skin, this girl has. J, on the other hand, didn’t quite like the water yet. Ola has a pool so we thought to let Jo go for a dip. Guess who ended up enjoying the pool more? You guessed it! my bumblebee Z!

Go visit Ola at Siloso beach on Sentosa island! 

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Newest addition…latest happenings..

It is a little early to write about winding down 2016 but I think should get it in before December begins and I will be in the flurry of end of the year activities and will definitely not have time to write.

The last I wrote was back in March and besides having a new venture, I was carrying another bun in the oven at that time. Fast forward months, Julie joined us on the 19th Of September. So now, we are a family of four!! She is gorgeous and a total darling. Of course I am bias! She is my little girl after all. šŸ™‚ šŸ˜€


Being pregnant with her was totally different from her sister. I didn’t put on as much which is a plus! I also felt less heavy with her till the last 2 weeks. I put on 2kgs in the last 2 weeks!! The stretch marks reared its ugly head in the last 2 weeks too and it was going so well…sigh. I guess it can’t be helped. I was pregnant, after all.

She turned out to be quite a big baby, literally. Born a healthy 4.11 kg. A head full of hair like her sister. They even look alike!! Which can only mean that they will grow up and look like their dad. Sigh…oh well, the huge eyes, long eyelashes and hopefully not a flat nose like mine and great hair colour is a good trade off. ;P

I don’t remember the last time I stayed in Malaysia for so long. This time I think it felt longer only because my daughter made it feel longer. Not in a bad way but because she misses her dad so each parting when he has to go back to work is a struggle. She also has her moments where she sniffles and cries when she misses her daddy. It breaks my heart each time. šŸ˜¦

We are dealing with this because I can’t fly after a certain and I need and wanted to be back in Malaysia when I give birth. I don’t have as much support in Italy as I do back here. Also, for Chinese we have a confinement period where someone is hired to help you out with the baby and recovery for a whole month to 40 days. Been back since mid July and boy, when you have 3 kids all under 3 years of age and no school all under one roof, morning till night is like a war zone at home. I do understand that children are like that but in my pregnant state and constant screaming, laughing, running, crying and fighting for about 14-16 hours a day is not something I want to repeat any time soon. Though it is great that Z has someone to play with and I really like it that she can bond and get to know her maternal grandparents and uncles, aunts and cousins better.

So each time daddy comes to visit, is a time of great joy as Z is daddy’s little girl and each parting is met with crying and screaming of “I want daddy!!” sniff!! T_T

I like that she goes to school here too. Her English has improved and the best part of it all? Her Manglish!! Cracks me up!! I enrolled her in school or rather nursery here for the few months that we are here so that I can have some sanity and some time when J comes along to bond with her and recuperate. It was also important that she has something to do and learn something new and mix with children her age and not be cooped at home the whole 5 months that we are back. I think it has benefited her. She has celebrated Deepavali and today is the early Christmas celebration in school. Since it is an international school and being in Malaysia, she got to mix and learn about other cultures as well. In Italy, she would just be celebrating Christmas, Halloween and Easter. Here, she gets to celebrate all of the above and more. If we stay on, Hari Raya, Chinese New Year, Deepavali and even Wesak day.

J is crying for my attention now, so I have got to go. Hopefully I get to update soon. Getting the hang of being a mother of 2 though I still can’t believe that I am a mother at all! Still so surreal..it has been close to 3 years and now 2 children on, it is still surreal. ok…ok…got to go. Signing off just like that.

Till the next blog post….toodeloos!

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Useless ramblings…

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I really should add a new category called “Useless ramblings at odd hours”. I have had so many useless ramblings at the weirdest of times and if I don’t write it down here, I might be in danger of thinking of them out loud which might be quite inappropriate at times.

Today’s useless rambling is this…because I fee like having a beer right now, that I should go to bed instead. The context is, that it is 1.31 in the morning and I am already in bed. Besides writing this, I should be or should I say should have been asleep some time back. It is late, so before the urge of having a beer overwhelms me, I should finish this post and get some shut eye.

Urrghhh…the struggle is real…the beer ‘s calling my name…help….

Signing off grudgingly….I can’t hear you, beer! Go sleep, beer! It is very late now…shush!

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2 Dresses, 1 Bride

So, I was watching this reality series on Real Time called “2 Abito, Una Sposa” basically means 2 dresses, 1 bride like my title suggest. All this in Italian of course as I was in the office as they now show Real Time on the satellite channels and it was on as background sound. I couldn’t budge from where I was because Z was napping and she has a knack for waking up the moment I get up to do anything. Even if I am not touching her any way. I find that this happens more often if we are not alone. Any other person or sharp noise will wake her from her slumber and if I am not there to put her back to bed immediately, then we can forget about the rest of nap time. It will be officially over and play time is in da’ house!

I digress. I don’t understand why some mothers would insist on their children wearing their wedding dresses? I saw it a few times on the other wedding dress reality series which I don’t know their original titles. I only know their Italian titles and I couldn’t be bothered to Google them now. Z is snoring next to me and it makes me sleepy too. šŸ˜›

You will understand when you become a mum. At least that is what my mum said. I am a mother and I understand why some mothers think that way. Wait, ok, I lied. Even before becoming a mother I understood why but I don’t get it how they cannot understand their daughters? Did I confuse you there? I understood but still don’t understand?

Let me explain. I think it is great if the daughter wanted to wear the dress herself but I don’t think it should be forced onto her by playing the emotional blackmail game. It is not fair! Hey, you had your fun choosing your own dress! Had fun playing dress up and trying on all different dresses. Why can’t she have the same fun and freedom of choice? Unless, the dress has been passed down for generations and ALL the ladies wore it on their wedding day, then maybe, ONLY maybe. The choice is still hers.

Secondly, does the dress even fit her personality or body type? I mean, there are dresses that will look nice on some and really, really hideous on another. Imagine very nice low “v” neckline dress on a slim person then imagine the very same dress on someone with a double D chest fitting into that very same dress. I think it would look so inappropriate especially for a wedding but I could be wrong and some find this really nice. To each, its own.

Then, there is the fashion to think about. What could be “in” in the 80s is way out of place for now. Most find the 80s a fashion disaster era and I concur. Somethings you can get away with but a wedding dress of the 80s? hmm… >_<

The thing I like about this show is this. It combines the 2. It gives the bride a choice. It says 2 dress because you have a choice of 2 dresses. You bring your mum’s dress. Wear it to show the stylist and seamstress (I can’t think of a more glamorous name for her) and tell them what you like or don’t like about the dress and what you are looking for in a dress and the budget you have. Then the stylist will go in search of dresses for you and the seamstress will transform your mum’s dress into your vision while still trying to keep some of mum’s dress and stay in budget. You can pretty much forget about getting your dresses back intact mums! Poor mums!

Then from the stylist’s choice you choose one, of course after trying them on. Then they reveal the seamstress’ creation. After that, the choice has to be made between the 2. The seamstress is usually very creative and does an amazing job transforming mum’s dress. I have been wow-ed many times.

Conclusion is, if you have a very persistent mum, you should join this show and maybe they will be able to help you get the dress of you dreams. I pity the mums only because since they loved their wedding dresses so much, it must be hard for them at the end of it cause they will not get their dress back as it was. Worse, if the daughter decides against it and goes for the new one. oh! poor mummies!! I guess, that is the risk that they have to take when going on this show and insisting that their daughter wear their dress. šŸ˜€ šŸ˜€

I am so mean… šŸ˜›

Update: Found out the American title for this series. “Something borrowed, Something new”.

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Itchy backside…

I was just laughing to myself thinking that I am such a genius! If you read my last post, you would know what I mean. Did you get it? Itchy backside? Did you? Did you? šŸ˜€

I haven’t been blogging for a while and while back here, I thought I should change my theme. I like to change it every now and then which is why I never buy any themes cause I know I will tire of it and want to change it again a few months or a year. Then all the money spent will be down the drain.

I don’t know how to write any CSS codes so making my own themes is out of the question so I went theme hunting. Is it just me or is most of the themes’ backgrounds are white. I know that it is a neutral preferred colour but really? White on white on white is so bland and so glaring! Even with the brightness on my screen adjusted to almost the last button, it was still blinding me. Ok, I may be biased. I love colour!! Bright colours! Not bright blinding white though.

I took me close to 2 hours to find this new theme. Do you like it? I LOVE it!! ā¤ ā¤ Trying out emoticons here. It is a trial and error thing with these for me. I never know the codes behind them.

The search for this theme was long and arduous! šŸ˜› Like I ran a marathon or something. If you don’t already know, I do have a flair for the dramatics. It was so painfully long (slow loading time didn’t help) that I wished I that I had just sucked it up and endured the old theme a little longer and do the search another time when I am in a better mood. It is doubly arduous cause I am hungry. A hungry Ann is a grumpy Ann. A saying my friend uses to describe me whenever I am grumpy. LOL!! how accurate!

Now that I found a new theme, I hope to keep it for while and that you like it as much as I do. I like the colours, their playfulness and the animals on the top. I have a baby now and I know she will love it! Though I think she would not be reading my blog any time soon. By the time she does, knowing me, I would have changed it and she will not get to see the animals. Oh well…

The itchy backside has been scratched. šŸ˜›

Goose night world!